Since most companies do not hold employees of the ages 16-24 - and no, even Hollister does not - one should expect as HR-er and co-worker in general that within a company of grown ups there would not be any "he-said-she-said" nor "bitchassness" as Sean Combs aka Diddy (expiration date of this artist name tbd) created a noun for a bad attitude.
So while most people concerned with this matter might have dug up some books on amazon I have learned the very lesson myself with co-workers as well and am fairly ready to give some advise.
As my mom would always say, first of all, stay cool, man!
Yer, she is kind of cool - btw, if you have any questions on how to handle state departments via mail, she is your woman to go to ;)
When I was younger i was not, instead I, as employee, allowed it to make others kind of reign over me, especially in regard to the workload I was given, and boy, they sure kept giving. But also emotionally. In the end I found myself suffering from migraene like headaches with the weirdest symptoms for months.
Still having my head in work and thinking of what my supervisor and co-workers think of me I got forced to take a time out. I became a Diddys Dirty Moneys music junkie then.
Funnily, listening to the tunes that are all about heartbrake and co I figured my pain might stop if I put up a wall (which believe me is kinda hard to do at work) or you give up on trying to comfort them and start with YOURself.
As of now, after having read several books such as Zero Limits by Joe Vitales and Ihaleakala Hew Len I am conciously aware of the fact that my problems will only change if I change my own attitude towards the problem.
Oooh how philosophic..booooooooooooring...
I know, but let it melt on your minds' tongue please.
In the meantime, while you're angry at your co-worker or even former co-worker who is rudely trying to cut you from the side still..or back..here is (in German) how Po the Kung Fu Panda deals with bitchassness thrown at him:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rleb6Hgh978" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Btw, that peacock named Shen is a perfect symbole for intrigues and a psychological disaster gone mad.
Jokes aside.
So what do you do as HR-er again when you have this kind of mess going on within a group of employees?
Well legally you can warn or fire one or both of them involved, which is very much a reaction out of rage more than it should be out of teaching. As my teacher in college used to say "leading is steering".
Basically, the key solution is appreciation, confrontation, compassion, forgiveness in this very order. Trigger this within the participating parties and the arguement will dissolute.
But hold on, some are just innocent you might claim. Sometimes confrontation is meant as confrontation with the bare truth of reasons. Why does this person react and act this way to you and to the other different. The understanding of it all helps the process as it is with everything human beings have to learn.
Regarding my situation back then. I had decided to pull through with it by staying tough. I understood the possible reasons the co-workers were having to behave the way they did and forgave them as I knew I would not have to deal with it forever and as that that period of time was only that - a period of time.
Happiness is a choice, it is said..there is no time for bitchassness.
thank, forgive, love
aloha
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